Are all physical acts against another a sign of bullying? I think not.
It goes without saying (I hope by now) that I have absolute zero tolerance for bullies and their ways and will do whatever I can to help put a stop to it but my thoughts on the matter may surprise some people when I speak about it in a completely honest fashion because I have to say this, not every fight is bullying.
Most fights are 50/50 acts of mutual combat and that sadly is nature but by claiming it is bullying if you lose a fight, just takes the attention away from true victims.
Some time ago a lady begged for my help as her daughter was being ‘bullied.’ She went as far as to send me a video of the event and it went like this; Girls arguing in a bus and when the bus stops at a regular stop one girl gets off and continues to goad the girl still on the bus. The girl still on board jumps up still screaming obscenities through the open window and exits the bus.
After a few more verbals they start to throw punches at each other. The first girl off the bus got the better of the altercation and the other girl got back on (the worried driver waited). She chose to get off the bus, the other girl chose to accept the invite to throw hands and that is that.
One girl won, one girl lost and that is what I told the mum; “Your girl didn’t get bullied, she lost a fight.” Mum was not happy with me and disagreed (her right). I asked her if she had any other history, background etc I would be happy to look at it. but you know the rest,” Oh you wrote a book about bullying and now you stand up for bullies. Blah, blah, blah,” she told me.
Here is the truth; Bullying is when one or more launch an attack, verbal or physical on another obviously unwilling person (male, female, child, adult, it’s all the same). It is not when two agree to fight. You are usually going to get a winner in this case. Sad but true folks, sad but true. SAY NO TO BULLYING, but make sure it is bullying first. Mutual combat and bullying are worlds apart. #bullying #bullied #bully #fightback